Reading For Life

I’ve become addicted.

I’ve become addicted to Beautiful Boy. David Sheff’s writing is brilliant, and I never thought that I would like this book as much as I do. Not because of the metaphors, though they are outstandingly vivid. Not just because of his writing style, which is laced with as much fact and research as it is painful compassion and frustration. I want to know David Sheff and give him a hug for all the pain he’s been through. I want to know Nic Sheff and give him a hug for the troubles he’s had.

I have a new perspective of the people who are addicted, because I now know that it isn’t as much of a choice as it is an illness. It affects the brain in the same way as a disease, and is much more understandable when you think of it as so. But as David Sheff says, cancer patients would be disgusted by the thought, because all an addict has to do to be rid of the disease, is to stop using. A cancer patient doesn’t have that choice.

I have a new perspective on everything, now. No matter what I do and what choices I have to make, what consequences I have to face, nothing is as difficult as it is to be addicted to meth. Or to be the parent of someone addicted to meth. Physics homework is never as destructive to the mind and body as is knowing that your son has been missing for two weeks, and constantly thinking, “He is dead.” Waking up early is never as heart-breaking as not being able to sleep because your son has stopped caring about being alive.

In this book is found advice that can be taken for anyone who is or loves an addict:”Grant me serenity to know the things that I can’t change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.” This book is filled with apprehension- it’s at every chapter, every page-turn, every word. But just as easily, it is filled with hope.

What would you do if a loved one was addicted to crystal meth?

Stick Figure

A diary of my former self

Lori Gottlieb

How can anyone blame an eleven year old for her misplaced eating disorder? Her mother for one. Her father. Her brother. Even  the nurses at her hospital. In fact, the few people who support her ‘diet’ are her school mates who beg Lori to write them their own diet plans. These girls are eleven and their conversation sounds like something 23 year old women would say.

A recurring theme is the contrast between Lori who is told she must eat everything on her plate and her mother who eats only half at most of her meals with Lori repeating that she wishes she was older so she would be allowed to diet. Why do we accourage women to eat in a way pre-teens cannot?

Most shocking was Lori herself, her insistance that she could only lose weight, her belief that she was disgustingly fat, then her childish innocent in her belief she could inhale calories, and eventually her her realization that the stick figure she was in the mirror was herself and her subsequent disgust.

The title of the novel comes from a picture Lori draws where her perfect body is a stick figure. She means it to the point where she is pleased to discover that there are two bones in one’s leg. And that she can see on her body.

In general this book is both sweet, alarming and well written. Surprising since these are the true diaries of an eleven year old girl disovered a good ten years later by the author.

Notable moments: The nutrionist hospital is asked to eat Lori’s hospital mandated breakfast with her so she has an image of a grown woman eating a full meal. Lori later hears this nutrionist confronting Lori’s doctor and stating she eats only toast for breakfast and cannot be expected to eat such a huge and fattening breakfast.

Do you know anyone who has had an eating disorder? Did they deny any kind of problem like Lori does?

Converse, Nirvana, scars and marijuana.

How could this describe a beautiful boy?

Often we hear the stories of drug addicts- a troubled family life, becoming (or merely being) an outcast, peer pressure, substance abuse. And then more substance abuse. And it’s not as if anyone wants abuse to become necessary, but it does. Beautiful Boy, written by David Sheff, looks at drug abuse from a different perspective. David Sheff is the father of a crystal meth addict.

My heart broke before I even opened the book. Reading the back-cover of the book and the introduction before Part I (titled Stay Up Late), it’s hard not to imagine what comes next. The foreshadowing is unavoidable. David Sheff makes it obvious that he cares deeply and dearly about his son, and wants nothing more than to be able to help him… but can’t. I can identify. Many of us could. If you have never known someone troubled, whether or not drugs or alcohol were involved, you are rare. If you have known a person or a few and didn’t want to help, you are lying.

But Beautiful Boy isn’t a sullen, sombre tale of a hopeless boy and his fathers tragic feelings. David Sheff makes it light, although not fluffy– deep, but not so much that you’d drown. Nic Sheff’s addiction becomes his father’s, as David Sheff tries desperately to figure out what’s wrong and how to help, ultimately learning that really? He can’t do much.

Although I’ve never known well someone who was deeply involved with substance abuse, I find it to be a captivating, although heart-wrenching, subject. Beautiful Boy tears away the prejudice that comes with substance abuse, as the author is someone who knows that users and abusers have more to their name. Simply put, they are human. Nic Sheff may seem different from other addicts, because through the book, you are able to get to know who he is and was, but he is no doubt similar to every homeless person on the street in Downtown Vancouver. Nic Sheff may not be the most handsome,  but there is no doubt in my mind that this boy is beautiful.

Illustrating the painful act of needing to do something, but finding that you have to do nothing, Beautiful Boy is a “heartbreakingly honest” story that David Sheff weaves out of heartstrings.

Between the books “The Prisoner of Tehran” and “Always looking up”, almost clash yet mold.  They both speak of hardships and how to they keep going, not giving up…..surviving.  But how can you always look up in such darkness is my question.  What is there to see when there is nothing but the abyss.  I cannot relate but merely imagine as I am very lucky and sheltered.  I have so much respect for what such people accomplished and not just the author’s but the people that live such lives daily.  It’s incredible.  I am glad I don’t know their experience but I am sad to know this is how some life courses. The stories shared here are inspiring and heart throbbing.  But my question remains, ’how did they really manage in the present of the time?

My initial impression of the book is a bit indecisive. So far this book simply attempts to change your thinking patterns and subconcious as apparently reality will follow. I now really have to question the testimonials of vast riches on the back cover. But lets move past that and asume Proctor isn’t a cult leader. The one (if only) thing I would take from this chapter is a quote, which was apparently taken from another “Get Rich Quick” book (how original!). The quote being; ” Opinions are the cheapest commodity.”  A commodity is something people use, want, consume and trade on the basis that they are relitivley raw and similar (like oil). It can be said that this statement alleges that since opinions are cheap, they must be in little demand or in plentiful supply. Since people always want opinions, be it on what foods are best for you, or what styles are currently in, one can infer that opinions are in great supply. And if there are so many opinions out there, how do you know which ones to trust? The answer: None of them. A similar philosophy was preached in a semi-biography on Warren Buffet, which said that if you try to follow trends, you can never be infront of them, limiting your potencial profit. All in all I’m hoping that Proctor gets past this mental picture idea and progresses into something move tangible.

The Internal Computer
After reading the first mini section of Blink, The Internal Computer. It is confusing to realize and understand the basis of simple human thinking. The book relates the quick straight decisions an airplane autopilot will make versus the long paced out thought a human pilot will go through to arrive at the same decision. Still it does not make a lot of sense. An example that Malcom Gladwell uses that relates to my life is our impressions of teachers. Being a student having a new, old, or temporary teacher, periodically, assumptions are the basis of my opinion. Often the teachers you only meet for one class, and interact with once during that time are the ones who have a lasting accurate opinion on, rather than a teacher who you are constantly interacting with adding different mixes of information to your changing opinion. It is all similar to the planned strategy that fails, with the sharp no thought idea is the one to succeed.
What are some of the reasons we choose the first idea that pops into our head, and why do we as humans often over-think the situation which we are faced?

Reading this book can give you the visual about what the boy has been through. I couldn’t believe how much help he got, and how much someone could change his whole life. The Blind Side by Michael Lewis is inspirational and unforgettable. Reading each page can lead you inside, like you are a part of the situation. As I read this, I could never seem to get my hands off it. The author made every single word and moment so unbelievable. You get so concentrated and focus while reading, that you don’t want anyone to interrupt you.

Reading the book, brings a full caption of what you just read into your brain. I’m am excited to finish it off because I know it’s going to end off with a good ending. This book will put a smile on your face!